Last updated on November 11th, 2023
You know that moment when you re-evaluate every aspect of your life? It s called a midlife crisis, and it can be a real kick in the pants.
If you’ve never experienced one, you may not even know what you re missing out on.
But if you find yourself suddenly staring into the face of an empty bucket with nothing but raw nerves left inside, then this is probably your midlife crisis.
Your midlife can come with many challenges.
We all feel some degree of dissatisfaction from time to time as we get older, especially after spending so many years pursuing our career and other goals.
Let us explore how to deal with a midlife crisis and move towards a better future again.
What is a Midlife Crisis?
A midlife crisis is a term that describes a period at the midpoint of one’s life, usually between the ages of 40 and 60.
In the 1960s, the term “midlife crisis” was made up by a psychoanalyst named Elliott Jacques after noticing significant changes in one of his middle-aged clients. Elliot was 48 years at that time.
Elliot Jacques noticed that patients in their mid- to late-30s seemed to go through a period of depression and sudden changes in their lifestyle as they came to terms with the fact that they would die.
The idea that the midlife crisis is a biological necessity spread.
This is the time when you may begin to question your value in life, or start to feel like your life has passed you by.
While not everyone experiences a midlife crisis, it’s very common among those who are married with children. When you have children, it can be difficult to think about what your future holds.
You may feel like you have no control over where you end up in life and that your only choice is between staying married or finding someone new.
It’s a common stereotype that men in their middle age buy expensive cars or get divorced to feel younger.
A midlife crisis can cause many people stress and anxiety as well as self-doubt and insecurity.
Even though it’s unpredictable what will trigger a crisis, there are ways to cope with one if it does happen to you.
Common Signs of Midlife Crisis
The signs of a midlife crisis are different for everyone. It can be different for men and women.
The following signs of a midlife crisis may include the below experiences for both men and women.
- Strong feelings of longing for the past and a constant need to think about the past.
- Feeling unfulfilled in life.
- Feeling bored, empty, and like life has no point.
- Intense feelings of regret.
- Constantly comparing yourself to others who seem happier or more fulfilled.
- Impulsive and often hasty actions.
- Cheating on your spouse or always thinking about it.
- Big changes in behaviour and appearance.
Signs of a Midlife Crisis in Men
- Less happy with life. Always complaining or spending more time thinking about things they regret. In some situations, a man might start saying things like “life stinks” or “everything is terrible.”
- Getting more sad, disappointed, and sorry for themselves. As they feel less motivated and less happy with their lives, they might sleep more, eat more, and give up on their goals.
- Frequent mood changes. One day they could be completely alone and sad, and the next they could be planning a party for their friends and family to celebrate.
- Taking rash actions and making bad decisions. In desperately trying to fix their problems, they try out a number of bad ways to deal with things.
- They could start drinking, using drugs, spending money, gambling, or planning expensive trips without telling their loved ones.
- A person going through a midlife crisis is focused on how unhappy they are right now, so they will want and look for change.
Signs of a Midlife Crisis in Women
- Depression or more depressing actions. Midlife is a time when women can feel more depressed, sometimes because of menopause.
- Boredom or lack of interest.
- Starts to question her life choices, such as her romantic partner, career, or decision to become (or not become) a mother.
- Thinking about making big changes in her personal or professional life.
- Thinking about things they did when they were younger or want to relive things from other times in her life.
- Focus on her appearance and look for ways to look younger, like changing her clothes or hairstyle, thinking about getting surgery, or just figuring out how she feels about making cosmetic changes.
- Feelings of being overwhelmed.
- Changes in how a woman deals with her feelings and feelings that are intense one minute and dull the next.
How to Deal With a Midlife Crisis
The midlife crisis is a difficult time for many people. This stage in life can cause feelings of uncertainty, restlessness, and even an identity crisis.
The stress of these feelings can lead to other issues like anxiety, depression, or even drinking or overeating as a way to self-medicate.
If you’re going through a midlife crisis right now, you’re definitely not alone! However, it is important to know how to deal with it so that you don’t spiral out of control.
The midlife crisis is common at this age because we are forced to answer some big questions about our lives:
- What do we really want from life?
- What value do we have to offer others?
- How can we make our lives more meaningful?
These feelings can occur as a natural part of the midlife stage, but they are often intensified by external factors like financial strain, marital problems, divorce, or a lack of children.
Use your midlife crisis as a chance to find the joy in life again
Most people over the age of 50 have had some kind of midlife crisis. Things rarely go as planned in life.
You might have wanted to play in the NBA, run for office, move to Europe, or write a best seller.
Instead, you’ve been spending your time in a cubicle selling paperclips to other people in your company.
It’s normal to feel down, but it’s not all going to get worse from here.
You Can Make the most of your midlife crisis
1. Pay attention to what you have
There are places in the world where 7-year-old orphans dig through trash heaps to find food and endure hardship every day.
You might not be the CEO of your company by the time you’re 45, but you’ll make it.
What do you have in your life right now for which you can be thankful?
2. Don’t forget what you’ve achieved
You’ve already done a lot of things that you can be proud of. Here are a few examples:
• Getting out of school.
• Purchasing a house.
• Raising successful kids.
• Being a good partner.
• Going to work every single day.
• Making and keeping friends.
• Being a good neighbour.
• Anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.
3. Don’t do anything reckless
When you quit your job without a backup plan, have an affair, or buy a Ferrari you can’t afford, you make more problems than you solve.
Now is not the time to act without thinking.
You can make plans and start carrying them out, but try not to make your life harder.
4. Don’t give in to temptations
During a crisis, it will be hard to resist the urge to take risks and act quickly.
Slow down and take your time making decisions for the future based on how they will affect you in the long run, not how they will make you feel right now.
5. Look at your midlife crisis as a call to action
A midlife crisis means that your life isn’t going as planned, isn’t as meaningful as you’d like, and you feel like you’re running out of time to make a change.
But if you start, you can still make a difference.
Some people finish medical school when they are in their 60s.
Some famous authors and screenwriters didn’t start writing until they were in their 70s.
Elliott Jaques who coined the term midlife crisis at the time he was 48 published 12 books between the age of 48 and 86.
You may be too old to play quarterback for the Steelers, but you can still do a lot of great things.
6. Make some fun goals
Set some goals that will make you feel better about your life when you reach them, . Start small. If you have a small success, it will show you that you can do bigger things.
Get going, and then do something great.
• What is that thing you have always wanted to do?
• What do you love to do? How could you do it for a living?
• What can you do to give more meaning to your life?
7. Have a sense of purpose
Remind yourself of your goal. So much of the bad feeling that comes with a crisis comes from not knowing what will happen next and having to take on new roles.
Spend time with your support team thinking about your purpose and any other goals you may have.
Try something different so you do not keep going the same way.
8. Pay attention to your health
Your mental health will be hurt by a midlife crisis, but you still need to take care of your physical health.
Focus on getting enough restful sleep, moving around a lot, and eating well. It’s hard to deal with a problem when you’re tired, slow, and hungry.
Beyond working out every day, midlife can be a good time to do an overall health assessment.
This can include scheduling routine visits that you may have put off for too long or meeting with specialists in areas where your health may need extra care.
Such as seeing a nutritionist or starting therapy with a health professional to deal with all the changes in your life.
9. Try something different
Living the same day over and over again without any end in sight can lead to a midlife crisis.
Who says things can’t be a little bit different?
Take a class in yoga or learn how to weld.
Start a blog or go to a new church.
You can only blame the person in the mirror if your life is boring.
10. Try to see the whole picture
Depending on how old you are and how good your health is, you may have 40 or more years of useful life left. That’s quite a long time.
After college, it only takes nine years to become a neurosurgeon. In 40 years, you can do a lot. How are you going to use them?
Use your midlife crisis as a sign that you might want to make some changes to make your life more satisfying.
Think about the good things in your life and be thankful for what you have and what you’ve done.
You’re still young enough to set new goals and be excited about what the future holds as you reach them.
11. What’s done is done. Don’t Live in the Past
It’s normal to imagine what you could have done if you had known what you know now back then.
When you look back, you can see how easy things could have been if you hadn’t done this or that.
But if you live in the past, you won’t be able to enjoy the good things in your life right now.
Young people learn by going through hard times. Young people don’t have as much fun as you might think.
They also don’t have an unlimited number of choices or freedoms.
It’s easy to look up to young people, but people face problems at every age. At least you’ve been through it before.
12. Give yourself a break
From the moment you were born, people have had expectations of you. The most important thing is that you’re expected to have done well by a certain age.
But success is different for everyone.
If you were born poor, you would be a success if you were a millionaire when you retired.
On the other hand, if you were born rich, you might think the same thing was just average.
If you let society’s expectations run your life, you might feel like you have to believe certain things about yourself.
You can’t give up your power, though. You are the only one who can decide if what you have done is enough.
If, after taking a hard look at what you’ve done, you decide you want more, go get it. But you shouldn’t let anyone else decide for you.
13. It Doesn’t Matter
If you spend some time in a nursing home, you might hear a person in their 90s say something like, “I’d give anything to be 70 again!”
Some people in their 60s are finding their passions again after they retire.
Some of these people have even found new jobs that are doing well.
Final thoughts
Remember that a midlife crisis is a normal part of life. Everyone goes through it in one way or another. Just because you’re experiencing a midlife crisis doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It’s simply a part of growing older.
If you’re currently going through a midlife crisis, there are plenty of ways to deal with it. Try out some of the tips listed in this article and see which ones work best for you.
Bear in mind that people do their most original work after the age of 40.
Elliott Jaques who coined the term “midlife crisis†published 12 books between the age of 48 and 86.
So embrace your midlife crisis and create the life you want!
