How to Appear Confident When You’re Nervous: 14 Effective Tips

Last updated on March 13th, 2023

Confidence is a powerful asset to have; it can open doors, create opportunities, and help us achieve our goals. However, it can be a challenge to exude confidence when we’re feeling nervous.

The truth is, nerves are a natural part of life, and they don’t have to hold us back. In this post, I want to share with you some powerful and effective techniques on how to appear confident even when you’re feeling nervous.

From understanding and managing your nerves, to developing positive self-talk and body language, I’ll show you how to take control and exude confidence in any situation.

Whether you’re about to give a presentation at work, attend a job interview, or meet someone for the first time, this post will give you the tools and strategies you need to appear confident and make a great first impression.

So, if you’re ready to take the next step in developing your confidence, read on and discover how to become the confident, self-assured person you want to be.

Appearing Confident

When it comes to appearing confident, it’s often said, “Fake it till you make it.” But what happens when you’re in a situation where you’re expected to exude confidence, but you’re actually feeling nervous?

The truth is, we all experience nerves in one way or another, whether it’s in a job interview, a public speaking engagement, or even just meeting new people. But the good news is that there are ways to appear confident even when you’re feeling anything but.

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that everyone gets nervous. It’s a natural response to stress and uncertainty. In fact, some level of nervousness can actually be beneficial, as it can give you a burst of energy and help you perform at your best. The key is not to let that nervous energy consume you.

Confidence gives you an advantage in any situation. You’re more likely to ace an interview, charm your date, or convince your child to eat their vegetables when you’re sure of yourself.

In fact, just looking like you’re confident is often enough to make you more persuasive and successful.

Plus, our behavior tends to shape our thinking, so acting assertive will help to make your doubts and fears melt away.

Even if the thought of confronting your boss or speaking in public makes you nervous, you can appear calm and collected.

Try these tips for training yourself to look confident under pressure.

Using Body Language to Make You Look More Confident

1. Adjust your posture

The way you hold yourself and move around plays a big role in determining your mood and how others see you.. When you stand or sit with your back straight, shoulders back, and weight evenly distributed, you give off a sense of power and control. This can make a lasting impression on those around you and help you to feel more confident in yourself.

To adjust your posture, try the following tips:

• Stand with your feet hip-width apart and your weight evenly distributed between both feet.
• Tuck your pelvis under and engage your core muscles to straighten your spine.
• Roll your shoulders back and down, making sure your chest is open and lifted.
• Keep your head up and your gaze forward.
• Remember to breathe deeply and relax your body.

2. Make eye contact

Making eye contact is an important aspect of communication and can help to project confidence and show that you are engaged, interested, and self-assured. When you look someone in the eye, it sends a message that you are paying attention and that you are willing to engage with them. It also helps to build trust and create a connection with the person you are speaking to.

Here are some tips for making effective eye contact:

• Keep your gaze at the person’s eyes, not just their forehead or nose.
• Maintain eye contact for about 3-5 seconds before breaking it.
• Don’t stare excessively or make the other person uncomfortable.
• Use your eyes to express interest and engagement.
• Practice making eye contact with different people in different settings.
• If making direct eye contact is uncomfortable for you, try focusing on different areas of the person’s face, such as their eyebrows, nose, or mouth, for a couple of seconds at a time. This will give the same effect.

3. Shake hands

A strong handshake is a sign of self-assurance and can help to establish trust and build relationships.

Here are some tips for a confident handshake:

• Make sure your grip is firm and assertive, but not too strong.
• Hold the handshake for about 3-5 seconds.
• Keep your hand and fingers relaxed, but not limp.
• Smile and make eye contact while you shake hands.
• Practice your handshake with different people to get a sense of the right pressure and duration.
• It’s also important to remember some basic etiquette when shaking hands, such as keeping your hands clean, and not to shake hands while holding something, like a drink or a phone.

4. Open up

Overall, think in terms of taking up whatever space is available to you. When you take up space and appear open and inviting, you signal to others that you are confident and willing to engage with them.

Tips for opening up your body language:

• Uncross your arms and legs. Crossing your arms and legs can make you appear closed off and defensive.
• Plant your feet about a foot apart. This will help to steady you and give you a solid base from which to project confidence.
• Lean towards the person you are speaking to. This shows that you are engaged and interested in the conversation.
• Keep your gestures open and expansive. Avoid small, tight movements and instead use large, sweeping gestures to take up space.

5. Slow down

If you tend to move faster when you’re nervous, experiment with doing the opposite.

Slowing down can be an effective way to project confidence and control in any situation. When you are nervous or stressed, it’s natural to speak or move quickly, but this can make you appear anxious or nervous. By slowing down your speech and movements, you can appear more composed and self-assured.

Here are some tips for slowing down:

• Take a deep breath before speaking or making a move.
• Speak at a moderate pace, not too fast or too slow.
• Make deliberate, measured movements rather than quick, jerky ones.
• Use pauses for emphasis and to give yourself time to think.
• Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend to get a sense of the right pace.
• It’s also important to remember that slowing down doesn’t mean being rigid or stiff. You can still use gestures and facial expressions to add emphasis and show enthusiasm.

6. Smile wide

A happy face looks more confident and attractive.

Smiling is a powerful tool for projecting confidence and positivity in any situation. A genuine smile can help to make you appear more attractive, approachable and friendly. It can also help to reduce stress and anxiety, and make you feel more relaxed and confident.

Here are some tips for smiling wide:

• Practice smiling in front of a mirror.
• Try to make your smile as genuine as possible.
• Use your whole face, not just your mouth, to smile.
• Remember to smile at the right time. Avoid smiling when it’s not appropriate, like during a serious conversation.
• Smiling can be contagious, if you see someone smiling, smile back.

Smiling is not just about your mouth, but it’s also about your eyes, when you smile with your eyes, it’s called a Duchenne smile, it’s a sign of genuine happiness and it’s more likely to be contagious.

Other Ways to Look More Confident:

1. Get a haircut

Careful grooming reminds you that you’re worth caring about. It can also help to make you look more polished and professional. A new hairstyle or color can make you feel refreshed and renewed, and it can be a great way to treat yourself.

Here are some tips for getting a haircut:

• Do your research. Look at different hairstyles online or in magazines to find a style that suits your face shape and hair type.
• Choose a hairstylist that you trust and feel comfortable with.
• Be clear and specific about what you want. Bring pictures or examples to help communicate your desired look.
• Be open to suggestions from your hairstylist, they may have some great ideas that you haven’t considered.
• Don’t be afraid to change it up. If you don’t like the cut or color, you can always change it.

2. Exercise regularly

Regular physical activity can help to improve your physical health, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve your mood. It also can help you feel more energized and motivated, which can contribute to a greater sense of self-assurance.

Here are some tips for exercising regularly:

• Find an activity that you enjoy. Whether it’s running, cycling, swimming, dancing, or yoga, find something that you look forward to doing.
• Set realistic goals. Start small and gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts.
• Make a schedule and stick to it. Set aside time each day or week for your workouts and make them a priority.
• Mix it up. Try different types of exercises to keep things interesting and challenging.
• Find a workout buddy. Having a workout partner can help to keep you accountable and motivated.

3. Breathe deeply

Breathing deeply can be an effective way to calm and center yourself, and reduce stress and anxiety. It can also help to improve your posture and oxygenate your body, which can contribute to a greater sense of self-assurance.

Here are some tips for breathing deeply:

• Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or stand.
• Close your eyes and focus on your breath.
• Take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs and expanding your diaphragm.
• Hold the breath for a moment.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth, releasing any tension and stress.
• Repeat this process several times.
• Try to breathe deeply at least a few minutes each day, ideally in the morning and evening.

You can also try different breathing techniques, such as the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which is a type of pranayama that can help to calm the mind, reduce stress and improve sleep. It involves breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds.

4. Avoid fillers

Avoiding fillers, such as “um” and “ah”, can be an effective way to project confidence and professionalism when communicating. Fillers can make you appear unprepared or unsure of yourself, and they can disrupt the flow of a conversation or a presentation.

Here are some tips for avoiding fillers:

• Practice speaking in front of a mirror or with a friend.
• Take a deep breath before speaking.
• Take a moment to gather your thoughts before responding to a question or starting a presentation.
• Use silence strategically. Instead of using fillers, take a short pause to gather your thoughts.
• Speak clearly and at a moderate pace.
• Prepare and practice your presentations or responses to common questions.

Remember that filler words are a normal part of speech, and it’s okay to use them occasionally. The goal is not to eliminate them completely, but to use them less frequently, and to replace them with more effective ways of communicating.

5. Prepare small talk

Conversation skills can be learned. Being able to engage in light conversation can help to break the ice, establish connections, and make a positive impression on others.

Here are some tips for preparing small talk:

• Brush up on current events and interesting news stories.
• Think about common topics of interest such as hobbies, sports, and pop culture.
• Prepare a few anecdotes or jokes that you can share in a conversation.
• Practice active listening, be attentive and responsive to what the other person is saying.
• Ask open-ended questions, this will give the other person the opportunity to talk more and show interest in what they have to say.
• Remember to smile, maintain eye contact and use open body language.

Small talk is not about impressing others, it’s about building connections and making people feel comfortable. Be genuine, be yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re struggling to find something to talk about.

6. Express interest

Your anxiety levels decrease when you focus on others.

When you are genuinely interested in someone else, you are more likely to engage in meaningful conversations, build trust, and make a positive impression.

Here are some tips for expressing interest:

• Listen attentively and actively. Show that you are engaged and interested in what the other person is saying.
• Ask relevant questions. Find out more about the other person’s interests, experiences, and opinions.
• Show enthusiasm. Let the other person know that you are excited to hear more about what they have to say.
• Offer support. If the other person is sharing something personal or sensitive, be empathetic and offer your support.
• Follow up. If you have made a connection with someone, follow up with them later and maintain the conversation.

7. Think positive

Pay attention to the things you like about yourself and others.

When you focus on the things you like about yourself and others, you are more likely to appreciate your strengths, feel more optimistic, and aim higher.

Here are some tips for thinking positively:

• Make a list of the things you like about yourself.
• Make a list of the things you are grateful for.
• Surround yourself with positive people.
• Avoid negative self-talk and negative thoughts.
• Practice gratitude, take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life.
• Challenge negative thoughts, when a negative thought comes to mind, try to find evidence to refute it.
• Find humor in difficult situations.
• Visualize yourself succeeding in your goals.

8. Create a mantra

Your self-talk can undermine your efforts or boost your sense of self-worth. A mantra is a simple phrase or word that you repeat to yourself, it can help to focus your mind and provide motivation and inspiration.

Here are some tips for creating a mantra:

• Choose a phrase or word that resonates with you.
• It can be something that inspires you, something that you want to focus on, or something that you want to achieve.
• Keep it simple and easy to remember.
• Repeat it to yourself throughout the day, especially when you’re feeling anxious or uncertain.
• Write it down and post it somewhere you can see it, it could be on your phone, your computer, or on a sticky note.
• Incorporate it into your daily routine, for example, repeat it to yourself when you wake up, before a meeting or when you’re feeling low.

Remember that a mantra is not a magic solution, it’s a tool that can help you to focus your mind and remind you of your goals and aspirations. It’s a way to remind yourself that you have the power to change your thoughts and beliefs.

Conclusion- How to Appear Confident When You’re Nervous

Appearing confident when you’re nervous is a crucial skill that can make all the difference in achieving your goals and reaching your potential.

It’s important to remember that nerves are a natural part of the human experience and that everyone experiences them in some form or another.

The key is to learn how to manage them in a way that allows you to project confidence and poise, even when you’re feeling uneasy inside.

One of the most effective ways to appear confident when you’re nervous is by mastering your body language. Standing up straight, making eye contact, and using open gestures can communicate confidence to those around you.

Additionally, reframing your thoughts and focusing on the positive aspects of the situation can help to change your perception and reduce feelings of nervousness.

Another important aspect of appearing confident when you’re nervous is projecting a positive attitude. This means being optimistic, enthusiastic, and approachable, even when you’re feeling uneasy.

It’s also important to remember to take deep breaths, speak clearly, and give yourself credit for putting yourself in new and challenging situations.

Remember that confidence is not a fixed trait, but rather a skill that can be developed and improved with practice and patience. So next time you’re feeling nervous, remember to take a deep breath, stand tall, and project confidence and poise.

With a little bit of practice and perseverance, you’ll be able to master the art of appearing confident in any situation.