Self-Love as the Cure: How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden to Others

Last updated on February 15th, 2024

How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

Have you ever been caught in a whirlwind of thoughts that all seem to shout, “You’re a burden”? It’s a rough place to be in, I know.

Yet, believe me when I say, you’re not alone, and most importantly, there’s a way out.

If your journey for self-improvement led you to search for ‘How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden,’ then you’ve come to the right spot.

Welcome to our safe and supportive online community. Today, we’re tackling a hefty but essential topic: ‘How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden.’ We’re going to unpack this feeling, understand it, and then, piece by piece, show you how to dismantle it.

We’re about to dive into practical strategies and life-changing advice, designed to break down the self-doubt and reshape how you perceive yourself in relation to others.

Our mission is to help you realize that you are not a burden, but an individual of value, someone who enriches the lives of those around you just by being you.

So, fasten your seat belts and get ready for an empowering journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Let’s roll up our sleeves, dig deep into our resilience, and start this journey together. You, my friend, are worth it.

Explanation of feeling like a burden

This feeling often stems from various factors, including challenging childhood experiences or negative encounters when attempting to open up to others.

This feeling can hinder genuine interactions, create emotional overload, and prevent people from seeking support.

Childhood environments with poor communication of emotions or experiences of rejection during vulnerable moments may contribute to these feelings. 

As a result, shame and self-doubt can plague individuals, making them question their worth and the impact of their emotions on others. 

A man on top of a rock

Importance of overcoming this feeling

Overcoming the feeling of being a burden is crucial for several reasons:

1. Boosts self-esteem: When you overcome this feeling, you build confidence in your own abilities and worth.


2. Encourages personal growth: Conquering negative emotions leads to personal growth and increased resilience.


3. Improves interpersonal relationships: When you overcome these feelings, you enhance your relationships with others as they no longer feel emotionally burdened.

Remember, “Feeling better can involve taking one step or many. It may happen quickly or over a long time” (Better Health Channel). 

Reasons you may feel like a burden

Childhood experiences

Childhood experiences are the foundation of our emotional development and significantly shape our adult lives.

 According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can lead to a range of lifelong consequences, including increased risks of violence, poor health, and limited education and employment opportunities.

By understanding and addressing ACEs, we can create stronger, healthier communities and support the overall well-being of individuals from a young age.

Negative experiences with opening up

Opening up to others about our feelings and emotions is essential for achieving emotional well-being. 

However, sometimes sharing our experiences can lead to negative outcomes, such as being met with judgment, misunderstanding, or even rejection. 

It is crucial to acknowledge these potential negative experiences and emphasize the importance of self-care, seeking support, and maintaining a positive outlook in overcoming these challenges. 

Shame and self-doubt


1. Shame has a significant negative impact on one’s self-esteem, as shown in a meta-analysis by Faculty of Psychology Universitas Gadjah Mada Yogyakarta and Universitas Tarumanagara Jakarta (2020).

The study found a strong negative correlation between shame and self-esteem.


2. These feelings of shame can stem from early childhood experiences, negative experiences when opening up, and societal pressures.


3.  “Shame is what keeps our self-esteem low and stops us from daring to be more.” (What’s the Connection Between Shame and Low Self-Esteem?)


4. To overcome shame and self-doubt, it’s crucial to challenge negative thoughts, practice self-care, and seek support from others. 

a lady spending spending quiet moments

Ways to stop feeling like a burden

 Understanding Your Feelings

This is a crucial first step. Just like a doctor can’t treat a condition without a diagnosis, you can’t move forward without understanding what you’re feeling.

Make a habit of spending quiet moments with your thoughts, journaling, or just pondering over your emotions.

Recognize that it’s okay to have feelings of self-doubt and you’re not alone in this.

Identifying Triggers

Once you have a grasp on your feelings, start looking for patterns. What triggers these negative feelings? Is it a certain situation, person, or event? 

Acknowledging these triggers isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame.

It’s about understanding what external factors affect your internal world, so you can constructively address them.

Be aware of emotional energy

Being aware of your emotional energy is crucial for maintaining a well-balanced mental and emotional state.

As mentioned by Vantage Point Recovery, emotional energy accounts for about 70 percent of our overall energy levels, emphasizing its importance in our daily lives.

To improve your emotional energy management:


1.  Pay attention to situations or people that drain your energy


2.  Identify your high-frequency emotions, such as love and passion, and nurture them


3. Embrace self-care practices to recharge and maintain a stable emotional state


4. Seek professional support, if necessary, to maintain or enhance your emotional energy levels

By keeping track of your emotional energy and addressing areas for improvement, you’ll be better equipped to maintain a positive and productive mindset

Challenge negative thoughts and practice self-care

Challenging negative thoughts and practicing self-care are essential steps in overcoming feelings of being a burden.

Engaging in positive self-talk can significantly boost mood, productivity, and self-esteem, whereas negative self-talk can hinder progress and lead to self-blame (Psych Central). 

By recognizing and addressing our automatic thoughts, we can effectively break the cycle of negativity and improve our overall well-being. Here are some tips to challenge negative thoughts:

1.  Be aware of the negative self-talk and think of alternative, positive explanations for situations.


2. Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment.


3. Incorporate self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques into your daily routine.

Remember, disrupting patterns of unhelpful thinking is the key to overcoming feelings of being a burden and living a more positive and fulfilling life.

Developing Healthy Communication Skills

Feelings of being a burden often arise from misunderstandings or miscommunications.

Expressing Needs and Emotions: It’s essential to express your needs and emotions openly.

Let your loved ones know how you’re feeling. You’ll often find that people are more understanding and supportive than you imagined.

Building Open and Honest Relationships: Cultivate relationships based on honesty and openness.

When you open up to others, it promotes understanding, strengthens bonds, and eliminates feelings of being a burden.

Ask for Help: Open up about emotions and seek support


Emotional distress, which can arise due to various reasons, often hampers an individual’s daily life and relationships. There’s no shame in seeking help.

By opening up about our emotions, we can better manage our feelings and gradually overcome emotional distress.

Therapy and Counseling: Therapists and counselors are trained professionals who can provide you with tools and strategies to address your feelings effectively. 

They can help you unravel the roots of your feelings and guide you on your journey towards self-love.

Support Groups: Sometimes, it’s comforting to know that others are experiencing similar feelings. Support groups provide a safe space to share experiences, offer mutual support, and learn from each other.

Seeking support from reliable sources, such as friends, family, or mental healthcare professionals, can be instrumental in our emotional healing process. 

Remember, sharing our feelings with others allows us to gain new insights into our thoughts and experiences, thus empowering us to conquer negative emotions effectively.

A lady feeling her self-worth

Practical steps to build self-esteem and self-worth

Set achievable goals

Setting achievable goals is essential in personal growth and overall wellness.

By following expert advice, such as connecting every goal to a ‘why,’ breaking down goals into smaller daily tasks, and scheduling buffer time, you can set yourself up for success.

Integrating these techniques can help you avoid distractions and allow you to focus on pursuing your goals, ultimately leading to increased motivation and a greater sense of accomplishment. 

Focus on positive self-talk


1. Enhancing one’s self-talk can lead to increased self-esteem and confidence, thus improving overall performance and well-being.


2.  Carl Lewis, a renowned track and field athlete, utilized this concept by focusing on simple, positive messages before competing, which ultimately led to his success.


3.  By intentionally shifting your perspective and using sentences that highlight growth and learning, you’ll be able to create an encouraging environment within your mind, ultimately impacting your behavior and emotions in positive ways.

Positive Affirmations

The power of positive affirmations is real. Stand in front of a mirror each morning, look at your reflection, and remind yourself of your worth, reframe your thoughts. 

Say things like, “I am enough. I am not a burden. I add value to the lives of those around me.”

It might feel strange at first, but consistent positive self-talk can change your mindset over time.

Self-care Routines

Self-esteem grows when we treat ourselves with kindness and respect. This means caring for your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Find activities that bring you joy and peace. It could be anything from a warm bath, a favorite hobby, exercise, or simply a quiet cup of tea in the morning.

Prioritize these activities, as they’ll help you see your worth and value.

Utilize Support Group and Online Forums  

One way to seek support and help when facing personal challenges is to utilize support groups and online forums.

Support groups are typically facilitated by trained professionals or volunteers and provide a safe and confidential space for individuals to share their experiences and receive emotional support from peers. 

Online forums, on the other hand, can be accessed from anywhere and at any time, allowing individuals to connect with others who may be facing similar challenges. 

These forums enable people to share advice, resources, and personal experiences, creating a sense of community and reducing feelings of isolation. 

Moreover, engaging with support groups and online forums may also help individuals build resilience and coping skills, as well as provide a sense of hope for the future.

A lady feeling like she is a burden

Understanding that others feel the same

Normalizing the feeling of being a burden 

As human beings, we all go through phases of feeling like a burden on those around us.

Whether it’s due to physical limitations, financial difficulties, emotional struggles, or any other challenge we might be facing, it’s easy to believe that we are more trouble than we’re worth. 

However, this kind of thinking can be extremely damaging to our sense of self-worth and our relationships with others.

One important step in normalizing the feeling of being a burden is to recognize that we all need help and support at different points in our lives.

None of us is entirely self-sufficient, and it’s okay to rely on others for assistance when we need it. 

Additionally, it’s important to remember that our loved ones care about us and want to help us through our challenges. 

They wouldn’t be offering their support if they didn’t genuinely care.

Another helpful strategy is to focus on the positive things we bring to our relationships, even when we’re struggling.

 We might feel like a burden in some ways, but we also have unique strengths and qualities that make us valuable to those around us.

By reminding ourselves of these positive traits, we can shift our focus away from our perceived shortcomings and toward the ways we contribute to the world.

Lastly, it’s important to practice self-compassion and empathy toward ourselves. We wouldn’t judge someone else for needing help, so why do we do it to ourselves? 

By extending kindness and understanding to ourselves, we can start to break free from the negative thought patterns that keep us feeling down.

Overall, normalizing the feeling of being a burden means recognizing that we all need help and support at times.

Rather than judging ourselves harshly or pushing away the people who care about us, we can embrace our vulnerabilities and work to build stronger, more compassionate relationships.

Examples of common situations where people feel like a burden 

There are a number of situations in which people may feel like they are a burden to those around. 

One common scenario is when someone is dealing with a chronic illness or physical disability that requires ongoing care and attention from friends or family members. 

This can be especially difficult if the person needs help with basic tasks like getting dressed or preparing meals, as it can make them feel like they are constantly imposing on others.

Another situation that can make us feel burdened is when someone is going through a difficult emotional time, such as struggling with depression or anxiety. 

In these cases, the person may feel like they are constantly burdening friends or family members with their problems and worries, which can contribute to feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation.

Finally, financial difficulties can also lead people to feel like a burden on others.

This can be especially true for older adults who are no longer able to work and have limited sources of income.

In these cases, the person may feel like they are constantly asking others for help or support, which can be difficult for both the recipient and the giver.

Final Thoughts – How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden

As we wrap up this journey, I’d like you to pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. Reflect on how far you’ve come from the point you clicked on this post to now.

You’ve taken a massive step toward self-improvement and growth just by making it here, by being open to change. Never apologize for it.

That’s an achievement to be proud of, and it underscores an important truth: you are far from being a burden.

Feeling like you’re a burden can often stem from deep-seated insecurities and negative past experiences. Yet, as you’ve learned today, these feelings can be uprooted, dissected, and reframed

Our minds can be remarkably flexible, and with the right tools and a dose of persistence, we can transform our thought patterns.

Self-esteem and self-worth don’t magically appear overnight.

They are cultivated through daily practices, through acknowledging our emotions, through nurturing our mental health, and through recognizing our inherent value. 

The journey to self-improvement is an ongoing process. There may be days when you falter, but remember, progress isn’t always linear, and every setback is a setup for a great comeback.

Your journey may involve developing healthier communication skills, harnessing the power of positive affirmations, establishing self-care routines, or seeking professional help if needed.

Each step, no matter how small, is a stride towards greater emotional resilience. Remember, there’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach when it comes to personal growth.

Your journey is unique, much like you, and every step you take is a testament to your courage and resilience.

One thing is certain: you are not alone in this journey. 

Here’s to all of us, imperfectly human, bravely navigating life’s challenges, and continuously growing. 

So, let’s close this chapter and let’s open a new one on self-love, acceptance, and growth. Remember, your journey is valid, and so are you. 

Let’s continue to uplift, encourage, and support each other, as we all strive to become the best versions of ourselves.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. You’re not a burden; you’re a human being with unique abilities, strengths, and potential.

You add value to others’ lives in ways you might not even realize. So keep going, keep growing, and keep shining.

We’re all rooting for you!

If you’ve been wrestling with feelings of being a burden, or if this article spoke to you in some way, we invite you to join the PheelPretty family. Reach out, connect, and let’s overcome these feelings together.

Remember, you’re not an inconvenience. You’re a crucial part of this tapestry we call life. Come, share your story, and let’s weave a more colorful, accepting, and loving world with PheelPretty today.

Chinyelu Karibi-Whyte
About Chinyelu Karibi-Whyte

Chinyelu Karibi-Whyte, the founder of Pheel Pretty, is a dynamic cybersecurity specialist and a passionate advocate for personal growth and resilience. As an empowerment advocate, she combines her tech expertise with her deep commitment to building self-esteem, confidence and a positive mindset. Chinyelu's unique perspective, shaped by her professional background and personal journey, including being a mother, enriches her approach to empowering others. You can follow her on https://www.linkedin.com/in/chinyelu-philomena-karibi-whyte/

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